FRIENDSHIP & POSERS

BY, SillyBearPa

Friendship is a wonderful thing when it’s real. You will feel the warmth in your heart. Enjoy every moments spent together and cherish them. Friends will defend you and go to great length to protect you. Take the time to hear your problems, cry together about them and solve it together. Willing to be to go the extra mile when in any situation and stand by your side. That is a true friend.


Posers are a person who manipulates your heart. Tells you yes their willing to do anything and does nothing. Only is around for their conveniences and manipulations. Taken into your trust and tell everyone your business. Stick around until something better comes along. Lies to your face and deep inside know you know the truth.


Why write this you ask? Why do I feel this way you ask? Well it’s come to my attention people who I believed to be friends are not! Suspected it but eventually like everything it comes full circle. You spend the better part of your life recycling friend. It’s hard to believe but for most but its true and we all know this. Not that I’m bitter or anything but I just need to air things out and why not on here. I have seen people air a lot worse than this. If you have one true friend in life you they say you are blessed. Then I guess I have been blessed because in my heart I know who my true friends.

Current Mood: cold

Metal Music Lives In My Heart:

Saw Arm of Snakes, Cursive, Against Me and Mastodon last night. With my bud Fred from Columbus, OH it was AWESOME!!! Have not been in a show or a mosh pit for a couple of years and totally forgotten how much fun it is. Well that is until last night. Speed metal, Goth music and alcohol. Talk about a good time well at less for me it is. The two bands I care for the most is Against Me and Mastodon. For those of you who are interested in finding out about the bands here are there websites:

http://www.mastodonrocks.com/

www.againstme.net/

Current Location: Work
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: Trivium - Like Light to the Flies

Ohio:

It’s been a long time since I have posted and I think it time for and update. I have been basically living in Columbus, OH since January 2nd of this year. I took a special assignment from work for three months and it turning into a 7 month process. I have returning home at less once a month which does not give me enough time to spend with my partner Mark who I miss. Also, I have been missing my family and friends. The city of Columbus is very nice and has been a lot fun. It has been great discovering new people, local points of interests and the night life. The bear community here has been okay some of the guys have been great but there are always those few you just wish did not exist. I have a great group of guys here and the funny thing is we are all transplants. Many people here are not accepting of you unless you are originally from the Ohio area. Matt is from Pennsylvania area, Randy is from Illinois area, Fred is from Tennesse and est. All these guys are not originally from here and are considered outsiders like myself. This has made it difficult for me a bit. They are a nice group of guys and it has been really fun hanging out with them. I have traveled to many states in the pass and never ran into the difficulty I have here making friends. It’s mostly the mid-west vs. east coast mentality. The project I’m currently working on is progressing nicely and looks like we will meet our deadline in time. I have been really busy with the multiple projects running at the same time. There have been days that I just wanted to rip my clothes off and run naked up and down the hallway and get time off for having a mental breakdown. Enough of that though…..


Beartrek:


A few weekends ago Mark, Dave, Jeff, Paul, Meana and myself went to Beartrek in White Plaines, NY we had a wonderful time. I arrived Thursday night from Columbus to Detroit to White Plaines what a trip. Once there all my troubles seemed non-existent I was with my love ones and my heart Mark. We went to the early registration cocktail party where I ran into a lot of my friends from NYC and abroad. The highlight of the evening was this one drunk ass women (and that is putting it nicely) a chubby chaser her self was grouping all the big bears and she had no clue what was going on (or did she?) and that she was barking up the wrong tree. Once of the incidents was with my husbear Mark. He was at the bar getting my favorite drink jagermeister and a beer. When a Madonna started to play at the bar (Madonna songs at a bear event go figure….we’re not gay at all…nah…) she started humping my husbear leg like a horny Chihuahua. Mark proceeded to push the drunken fool off him. Shortly, there after she was escorted away. Beartrek was a lot fun we had a blast for those of you who’ve never done Beartrek I would very much recommend it. When I left on Sunday afternoon to return to Ohio; Mark, Dave and Jeff took me to the airport. After lunch and basically dealing with my departure once again but looking forward an awesome camp season at Hillside Campgrounds. Which, I will not be able to participate fully until August. I kiss Mark, Dave and Jeff good bye made my way to security. There was on bonus Jeff surprised me by the line and gave me one more kiss good bye in front of security and those waiting behind me in line. Woof we have progress in this world some what but we still have a long way to go. Thanks Jeff!

Opening weekend at Hillside:

Missing Mark I decided to make a surprise visit to the campground. It took me 9 hrs from Granville, OH to New Milford, PA. I arrive at the Hartford exit and who is driving passed no other than Mark, Dave and Jeff. They did not notice me which was good because it would have ruined the surprise because at this point no one knew I was coming besides Pete. I’m basically tailing them down the road and Dave’s new truck is throwing dust and pebbles at my drunk and they are totally failing to realize it was me. We arrive at the campground and Mark gets out of the truck to open the gate. Mind you Mark should know my truck by now but nah… no clue. I proceed to flash my high beams at him he waves back thinking who is this asshole with his high beams? He opens the gate let’s Dave and Jeff in and he holds the gate for me. I roll down my passenger side window and tell him handsome need a ride? I’ve never seen my man so happy in his life to see me. I had truly surprised him he was happy to see me and so was I. I told him I could not let Hillside open up with out me being there to share it with him. He jumps into my truck and we proceed to head to our site and I jump out to Dave, Jeff and Paul surprise. We spent the rest of the weekend working on our sites and getting ready for an awesome camp season. Hillside is wonderful! I hold this place in high regards. This is where I met my extended family….Dave, Jeff, Meana, Missy, Paul, Peter, Mel, Pat, John, Bruce and HH. I’m looking forward to my return in August so I can be with my family once again.

The Conclusion:

As I’m still working in Columbus, Ohio I have learned many things. That no matter what happens in my life, Mark will support me in any decision we make towards the advancement of my career (I love you for that!). My extended family will always be there for me when I’m ready to go totally ape shit. Willing to listen to my problems and giving excellent advice. To quote a good friend…”get over it bitch it’s only temporary, we love you and we are here for you.” I love you guys and thank you for all your support and love. (Dave and Jeff)

I’m learning to let go a lot of the hurt that’s been in my heart since I arrived in Ohio. If not it will only consume me and take over my life! So, this posting goes out to my partner Mark for being an understanding partner, man and best friend. Also, to Dave and Jeff for tolerating my inner demons and for being the best crisis hotline a friend can ask for. I love you all and can not wait to be with you guys again soon.

Thank you with all my heart!

It’s been a great month! In the beginning of the month Mark, Peter and I went to Mansfield, PA to visit our friends Chuck and Mark. They took us to The Corning Museum of Glass. The exhibits are awesome with every glass piece we saw I keep thinking how Dave and Jeff would love to see this. Chuck took us to Mansfield University were he teaches. It’s a very nice campus in a small town with a lot of potential. We can’t wait to see them again soon and we would love to take Dave and Jeff with us to see the Corning Museum.

http://www.cmog.org


The rest of the month we spent with Dave and Jeff. We love these guys! They took us to The Garden State Bears Bar Night in Asbury Park. Meet a lot of nice guys and had a blast. The next day took me to there friends Ed (njbearcub1) record/comic book store in NJ. I was in heaven. Anyone who knows me I can spend hours, days, and weeks in a comic book store. When you first walk in you basically see the records. It was funny; as I turn the corner were the comics are at, I scream out “WOW” and Jeff said I he was waiting for it. He knew the reaction I would get from his friend’s store. I spent a bit of money there and it was worth it. If you interested in comic book this is the one of the places to go in NJ.

http://www.therecordstorenj.com

Last week was the best Thanksgiving weekend. Most of our friends came into town to spend the weekend with us. We had 6 people total not including Mark and me staying with us. We had a wonderful weekend! Saturday we attended Santa Saturday in New Hope. We ran into a lot of our friends and made a few new ones. The event was great and extremely crowded. Until when we were heading home and had an incident. Our friend Jeff fell in the parking lot at WAWA. I’m sitting in Michael’s car waiting for Jeff to come out of WAWA when a woman comes knocking on the window and says:

Are you waiting for a big guy in a blue shirt?
I said yes why?
Well he just fell and he seems injured.
I barely let the words sink in that bolted out the car door.

I get to Jeff and he is sitting in the on the parking lot floor. I asked if he okay he said he was fine and help him up made sure he did not break any body parts. Got on my phone and called the rest of the guys to meet us at WAWA. Bruce tells me I had way to much to drink to drive and I proceed to holler on phone that he only a block away to get his ass over here.

Once the dust settled and we made sure that Jeff was fine, we continued with our weekend. We headed out to Feasterville, PA to a really good Chinese Buffet. This is the place Mark took me on our first date. Sunday Mark gets up and makes breakfast for everyone and they start getting ready to head home. The evening ended on a high note with Dave and Jeff. [Evil Grin…WOOF!!!]

As the month closes, I must say it was fun. In the coming month I look forward to the Christmas Holidays, New Years and my Birthday! [JOY!!] My birthday is this coming Sunday Dec. 3rd spending it with life mate Mark and our roommate Bruce. I was hoping our friends would be joining us but they are not able to. I guess it will a quiet birthday this year. [] I always look forward to my birthday for many reasons. For many people they hate birthdays because they are getting older. I do not. Birthdays for me are like mini new years. I take the time to reflect on my accomplishments, the wisdom the year has brought and the people who I was able to share it with. I’m grateful to have them in my life and look forward to continuing friendships.

Well here I go. A good friend of mine has been using this site and I think it's a good way to express my feelings. So, thank you Jeff for this I hope it will help out on my issues in regards to work and other things. I spent the better part two weeks dealing with changes at work. Some of the changes are great and other are not that great. The only really good thing is I have a little lest stress. I guess I will have to see how things turn out with the new changes in my company and how I adjust to them. I never a person who like to micro-manage and my job has become that. I like to do my job get my pay check,go home and rest. My extended family keeps me grounded they make my life complete. For those of you who do not know who they are they are my Hillside family. Dave, Jeff, Bruce, Mike, HH, Peter H., Pete & Mel...ect. These are the people I look for guidance and I'm very grateful to have them in life but the one person I thank the most is my partner Mark. He is my rock and love him dearly. So thank you for all you have given to me. I guess this is enough for my first posting I hope I have not bored anyone with my words but they are mine and no one elses.....

Current Location: Home
Current Mood: cheerful